Confession…I’m not a mountain girl

Sometimes the best laid plans go belly up. 
My camping trip? 
The plan to relax, be, connect?

That was one of those. 

My period arrived the night before we left and had me longing for indoor plumbing more than I’d like to admit (we even had a camper but it wasn’t quite the same).

Then my husband decided to let my dog off the leash in a place she had never been with vast space all around and the warning of wild pigs traversing the area. 

My anxiety skyrocketed. (my dog was fine by the way)
Being disconnected and out in the great wide open did not feel quite so great, or open. 

I want to be that brave nature connected, dirt worshiping, totally comfortable in the middle of nowhere kind of witch.  
But I’m not. 

I love to hike and camp. But I like it better when I’m in screaming distance from help.
I am not a backpacking, PCT or AT kind of gal. 
You will likely never read my version of the time I backpacked solo into the wilderness. 
Because it’s not going to happen. 
It’s embarrassing to admit that. 
But it’s true. 

Don’t get me wrong, I definitely enjoyed and was grateful for the beauty that was all around. The land is familiar and very sacred to my husband who grew up there. 
I loved the sound of the full creek, turkey calls, the frogs, the wind in the trees, the smell of the buck brush and damp earth and the sighting of foxes, hawks, and a coyote. It was just that I didn’t feel safe. 
I felt challenged and on high alert. 

I tried to talk myself through it. 
To calm my nerves, to drop in. 
And there were moments of that to be certain. 
But it wasn’t the way I had planned (hoped, daydreamed about) 
And although I’ve camped on that land over 20 times in the last 20+ years the last time I had visited was 2016 or 2017. We weren’t acquainted with each other the way we had once been . 

My point? 
Even though my longing was to connect with the land in a deep and magical way, even though I dream of being someone who can let their guard down and be fully present in a vast natural space, I’m not. But that does not make me any less of a Witch. 

And if you, like me, find yourself concerned about mountain lions and wild pigs (and possibly monsters because my imagination is a powerful force) and would rather camp with a group than just your husband (because safety in numbers), know that you are not any less of a witch either. 

I long for space to spread out in, to be loud in, to be surrounded by nature in, but I don’t want too much space, nor too little. Like our criminal B and E friend Goldilocks I too need something that is “just right”. 

So I’m home from camping. I’ve got my moon charged creek water and quartz treasures to mark the passage of the magic I did while away. And I’m remembering that, it’s ok to honor my limits. To Witch the way that fits for me. 
And I want you to remember that too! Your magic and the way you work with it and wield it is specific to who you are. Embrace it!

My friends, just a reminder that the 3rd Annual Cauldron of Wisdom Virtual Conference is less than a week away.
All ten classes will be streamed via Zoom and in a private Facebook group, plus they are all recorded so you can join us live or watch and rewatch at your convenience. 
You can find the full lineup, schedule and registration HERE

As a bonus, all registrants not already enrolled in the Diving Deeper Membership Circle will receive a coupon code to get one month FREE! 
Keep the community going by joining in for New and Full Moon rituals and wheel of the year ceremonies, then uplevel your practice with access to a myriad of classes and meditations. 

See you round the cauldron!

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